15 things you should already know about your partner 6 months into a relationship.

15 things you should already know about your partner 6 months into a relationship. And they should know about you.

Okay so you’ve been with your sweetie for at least 6 months. That constitutes a real relationship. You probably know them pretty well by now. But how well do you really know them?

Now, if you don’t know these things don’t freak out. You can just ask each other. As a couples counselor I feel like these are some important basics that you’ll want to build on as you continue your relationship. If you and your partner can answer 10 out of 15, you’re doing great!

Ready?

1. What makes them laugh and cry?

If you don’t know what your partners sense of humor is by now then you may never know. Or maybe they don’t have a sense of humor? I hope that’s not the case. And while you may haven’t seen them cry yet, you probably know what can make them deeply sad. These are a couple basics that you should probably know by now because you’ve likely seen the range of their emotions.

2. What are they passionate about?

It’s so important to know what your partner is passionate about because a good partner will help them explore their passions. And you’ll likely be talking to them about their passions so I hope you find it interesting!

3. How did their family affect their growth?

While you might not know the details of their family history you probably know the broad strokes about their childhood and how their family affected their growth and personality. And if you don’t, well, strap in and play therapist for the evening because it’s about time you did a deep dive into their psyche.

4. How do they handle themselves when they get mad, frustrated or upset?

If your partner hasn’t gotten mad in front of you by now then that’s super impressive. Either their super chill or they’re trying their best to be on good behavior. But more importantly what are they like when they get upset and do they express themselves in a healthy way? Knowing they can experience their anger in a responsible way is very attractive.

5. Do they have spiritual beliefs and how do they affect their life choices?

If they don’t have spiritual beliefs then it’s important to know that. Turns out you’re dating someone with no soul. Kidding kidding. If they do have spiritual beliefs it’s possible that it informed their morals and values and has made them into the person they are today. Important stuff to know if you want to feel close.

6. What are their defining moments?

Did they ace the spelling bee in 5th grade? Did they hit a home run in little league. Did they become emancipated from their parents at 16. That’s super punk rock and by now you should know the details because I bet there are some amazing stories behind their defining moments. I guarantee you’ll feel a lot closer to them if they tell their story in detail.

7. What is the most important to them?

Basically what is their North Star? What do they care about the most? Does family and relationship define them? Are they passionate about their career? If you know what’s most important to them you probably have a good understanding of who they really are.

8. How would they define success?

What are they driven by? Money? Connections? Status? Happiness? Peace? If they feel super successful what would they feel proud of? What makes them feel like they’ve made it?

9. What kind of support do they need when they’re stressed or sad?

It’s likely that you’re going to be your partners primary support person. By now you should know how they like to be supported. Do they want to feel validated and heard? Do they want you to help them problem solve? Do they just want to vent? Get the deets because giving the right kinda support goes a very long way.

10. What are they the most proud of about themselves?

Your partner probably has a skill or talent that they feel pretty good about. If you know what it is you can help them create a life that’s filled with proud moments.

11. What can instantly light them up inside?

Knowing what your partner gets excited about means that you’ve got a go to that can lift them out of a bad mood or grumpy feeling. It’s a cheat code that every partner should be able to pull out of their pocket at any moment.

12. How do they recharge their emotional batteries?

Life is hard and we need to recharge and replenish in order to be our best selves in relationships. After 6 months you’ve likely seen your partner burnt out or exhausted. Do they need to veg out in front of the TV. Do they need to get some fresh air? Do they need some quiet time. How can you help them recharge when they feel depleted?

13. Do they have any known trauma responses or triggers? -

If you’ve been together 6 months you likely want be together longer. Something you should know moving forward is how does their past trauma effect their current behavior. When someone’s triggered they can get upset and their reaction most likely doesn’t have much to do with what’s going on in the moment. Knowing this, and how to support them through these moments, will be important to know.

14. What is their relationship with money and are they in debt? -

While you may not have access to their bank account you should have a pretty good idea of what their spending habits are like and how loose or tight they are with their cash. And if you’re in it for the long haul it’s smart to understand what debt you might be sharing with them if you decide to combine bank accounts in the future.

15. And finally, what are their non-negotiables? -

If they’ve got some unwavering answers about whether they want kids, where they want to live, if they want to be in a monogamous relationship and if they ever want to get married then you should know by now so that you’re answers line up with theirs. Otherwise it could be splitsville down the road and you’ll want to end it before it’s too late.

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If you have any questions or feedback make sure to leave them in the comments section. If you’re looking for a counselor like me check out TherapyDen.com to easily find a therapist near you!