3 Law of Attraction tools I use in therapy.
Transcript:
Okay so in my 20’s I became obsessed with the law of attraction. I badly wanted to manifest all the wonderful things into my life using the power of positive thinking. And while I had mixed results I did become really good at using law of attraction techniques to feel happier and more at peace. I am going to share some of my favorite tools with you that can be really powerful.
Before we dive in, I’m Jeff Guenther, licensed professional counselor, and this video is brought to by my favorite therapist directory TherapyDen.com. Find a progressive and accepting therapist by using the over 140 search filters. If you enjoy these videos a free way to support this channel is to like and subscribe.
Alright real quick, I feel like any good therapist first needs to acknowledge that the law of attraction is kinda problematic in some ways. If you have cancer or suffered sexual assault or you’re experiencing discrimination, you didn’t manifest those experiences into your reality because you didn’t think positively enough. That’s a real bad take. I could get more into the weeds here but I won’t. If you’re interested in hearing all my thoughts about the law of attraction let me know in the comments.
The techniques I’m going to talk about are such a good fit for therapy because they all focus on your emotions and how you can start feeling better in the moment. And that’s basically all the law of attraction cares about. If you think better feeling thoughts you’ll be able to manifest all the good things you want.
For this video I don’t really care whether the manifestation part is really true. Manifest or don’t manifest, what I’m concerned about is how you can feel better when you’re not feeling great.
Okay so let’s get to it!
We’re going to start with a really simple one that anyone can do. If you’re feeling bad, all you have to do is ask yourself one question. And that question is, “am I focusing on the lack of what I want or on the abundance of what I’m going to get?
Chances are, if you’re feeling sad, angry, annoyed or frustrated you’re focusing on the lack, or the absence of something. And when we focus our attention on not having a thing we’re usually pretty bummed about it.
For example, let’s say you want to be in a lovely romantic relationship but you’re currently single and feeling a little lonely. You are most likely feeling sad and lonely because you’re thinking about how you don’t have a partner. You’re focusing on the lack of a sweetie by your side. You’re wishing you were feeling connection but you’re aware of the absence of connection.
Once you realize that you’re focused on the lack, which is making you sad, you need to pivot your focus on the opposite of lack, which would be abundance. Or more specifically in this case, the abundance of connection. You might instantly feel better when you start imagining how lovely and sweet it will be with a partner by your side.
And that’s it. Go ahead and stay focused on how nice it’ll be when you’re partnered and try your best to stay in that emotional space of excitement and positive belief.
You might be like, hey but I’m still alone. Yeah, that’s true. But now you don’t feel like crap about it and that’s what these techniques will help you with. It might not change anything in your reality right then and there, but it will put you in a better feeling place.
Okay, let’s move on to the second technique. This one is all about moving up the scale of emotions.
Basically, there is a scale of 22 emotions. I’ll link to the scale in the comment section. It’s your job to first figure out where you are on the scale of emotions, and then to move up the scale of emotions by making true statements until you’re somewhere on the positive end. It takes work to come up with statements that feel true to you but if you stay at it, you can turn your bad mood into a good one pretty quickly. The key is to feel a slight feeling of relief as you move up the scale. I’ll give you an example of how to do it.
Let’s say I have social anxiety and I’m supposed to go to a party tonight and I’m feeling pretty fearful about it.
I feel scared and powerless is social situations
It’s because I feel really insecure
I’m so jealous of everyone else who’s fine
I hate how I have to deal with this
I’m so discouraged because it feels like there’s no way to kick this
Honestly I blame my parents for not socializing me enough as a kid
I’m worried I won’t act normal tonight.
I’m having doubts I’ll be able to sooth myself tonight
I’m disappointed in myself because I’m trying to come up with excuses not to go
I feel pretty overwhelmed thinking about al the conversations I’ll have
I’m just frustrated that I’m not like my best friend Sam who’s so smooth at parties
I’ll probably be hiding in Sam’s shadow all night
What typically happens is that I just feel awkward and bored
I could have an okay time if I just stick with my friend group
I hope my friends will be extra nice to me tonight
They’re always so sweet and comforting when we go to parties together and I feel relief knowing I can count on them
I’m actually really looking forward to seeing my best friends
Every night is a fun adventure when ever we all hang
I love my friends and I feel so lucky to have them and be supported by them. I can’t wait to see them tonight.
So there you go. You can do this with anything. It helps if you write down the statement or type them up. Once you feel good do your best to stay there for the rest of the day.
Okay, the third one is all about alignment. Chances are, if you feel bad it’s because you have a desire and a belief system that is not in alignment.
Let’s say you have a strong desire to go on a 30 minute morning run every day but you have a belief that you’re going to be super lazy and you’re going to sleep in every chance you get.
Obviously, the desire to get go on a run doesn’t match up with your belief of being lazy in the morning. That’s going to cause you to feel pretty bad about yourself. Once you’ve become aware of the misalignment your job is to figure out how to get aligned. You can either change the desire or the belief. It’ up to you.
If you want to keep the desire of doing a morning run then you gotta change the belief.
You can remember times where you’ve been a consistent runner
You can get pumped about buying running gear
You can create the perfect playlist
You can get a workout buddy that will keep you accountable
You can track your runs so you can see your progress
Whatever you need to do or say to change that belief system is your priority.
Or you can change the desire to fit your belief system.
You can allow yourself to have a quiet morning
You can look forward to pampering yourself with a long bath
You can sit in bed and journal or meditate
You can stop being so hard on yourself about exercise and instead make other healthy decisions
Maybe you’ve been saying that you’ve wanted to have a morning run routine but haven’t done it for a while and it’s just not gong to happen right now. t’s okay to let go of that desire.
Either way you go, you’ll feel better once your desire is in alignment with your belief system.
Now, before I sign off, I gotta warn you, these techniques will not work with every situation. If you’re in an abusive relationship then working up the scale of emotions isn’t going to make you physically safer. Just like doing breathing exercises isn’t going to get you out of that relationship.
These techniques are nice little ways to shift your focus from negative thinking to positive thinking. If you want to hear about more law of attraction techniques that I like, let me know in the comments.
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